


How It Began

by Az987



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff and Smut, Gratuitous Smut, Light Angst, Light Bondage, M/M, My First AO3 Post, My First Fanfic, My First Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:42:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29718756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Az987/pseuds/Az987
Summary: This is a ~smutty~ fanfic of Remus's and Sirius's first time together. It has some story to it, but some pretty graphic depictions so if you're not into that, please don't read this. I hope you enjoy it!
Relationships: Regulus Black & Sirius Black, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	How It Began

**Author's Note:**

> This has some vague mentions of violence and child abuse. Please exercise caution when reading this. It also has graphic and consensual sex. Thanks again!

The thing that Sirius didn’t quite understand was how it had happened. When had it all begun? Maybe the time he had seen Remus step out of the shower, water dripping from his body and pooling on the floor, the outline of his waist and his calves and his chest and his thighs burning brighter and brighter in Sirius’s mind; when he hadn’t meant to look but then couldn’t look away. Maybe it had begun when he’d caught Moony staring at him from across the Charm’s classroom, quill stuck thoughtfully between his teeth, and his face had turned bright red when Sirius had caught him looking and Sirius’s own heart suddenly skipped a beat because Moony was looking at him like _ that _ . 

Or maybe it had begun when Remus had figured out how they’d all become Animagi, and he’d been furious that they’d risk themselves like that  _ for him _ , and he’d stormed out. Sirius had followed him out into the night, and by the lake, his face, his scars half-illuminated by moonlight, enraged tears glistening on his cheeks, he’d thoroughly berated Sirius for doing something so  _ utterly stupid _ , and then asked him why. Sirius had felt almost vulnerable there, his heart pumping with adrenaline, Remus’s body far so close he could feel the heat of it.

“Because we care about you!” He’d shouted, furious that Remus couldn’t see that he was  _ worth it _ , that Sirius would have risked a thousand times more danger for him. The words he wanted to say hung right in his throat, and he finally released them. “Because  _ I  _ care about you.” All the fight and anger had abandoned Remus then, and Sirius had seen his throat bob, seen his tawny eyes shining with intensity and determination, and then suddenly they had been kissing, their mouths locked together, Moony’s hands curling into his long hair, Moony’s breathy gasps into his mouth, Moony’s body pushing and straining against his own. Sirius had never felt farther away and never felt more in his own body. 

They had kissed again later that night after Remus had returned with him to the dorm room and finally forgiven him and James and Peter. Then they’d waited till everyone was in bed and crept down to the common room and kissed under the invisibility cloak. This time it was slower and softer and  _ so so good _ , their tongues twining together, Sirius’s arms wrapped around Remus’s shoulders and Remus’s hands exploring his body with light, hesitant touches that grew bolder as Sirius responded with moans, their bodies pulsing together as one. 

That night they’d kissed and touched and no more, Remus’s hands never ventured to or below his pants, which Sirius was grateful for. They’d gone to bed light-headed and sweaty, slipping into their dorm room long after everyone had gone to bed. 

Those first few days, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other, every spare moment sneaking off to a broom cupboard to snog, returning to their dorm with their hair still sticking up, clothes disheveled, and half-concealed hickeys on their necks. It took James and Peter all of a week to piece it together, using the Marauders Map and their “fine deduction skills”, as James so eloquently put it. 

They were respectful enough about confronting Sirius and Remus, and while Sirius laughed loudly and playfully punched James Remus turned bright red and didn’t speak for ten minutes. It was better with all the Marauders knowing, though, because they hated to keep secrets from each other, and then it was easier to sneak around without their friends getting in the way. The only person they decided to tell was Lily because she was friends with Remus and a good enough person to not be homophobic. In fact, she was very supportive and took out about seven books concerning LGBTQ+ information and issues from the library and read them in as many days. 

And so things continued on quite steadily for several months, with kissing in broom closets and in their dorm when James had quidditch and Peter had chess, going out together every other Hogsmeade weekend, and staying up late to whisper in bed together. 

But the reason they had not gone further was very simple and very frustrating. Sirius held his parents in no high regard whatsoever, his relationship with them having gone from strained to outright atrocious over the most recent summer, but he sometimes had trouble dispelling the backward views that had beaten into him from a young age. And even though most of him ached to touch and be touched by Remus, even though most of him wanted to go all the way, there was always  _ their _ voices at the back of his head, telling him how dirty, dow disgusting he was when Remus’s hands circled the band of his trousers. 

Regulus, Sirius’s younger brother, didn’t help matters. He looked eerily similar to their mother Walburga, and their voices carried the same cadence, causing Sirius to sometimes wince when he heard it. It wasn’t that Regulus was bad, he had wholeheartedly agreed not to tell their parents what was going on when he had figured it out, but he had pulled Sirius into an empty corridor to yell at him. “What the  _ hell _ are you playing at? Do understand what you’re doing?” He’d hissed, and Sirius had taken a step back. “I won’t tell mother, but you  _ know _ she’ll find out. You’re putting yourself, and  _ him _ in danger!” 

“I know what I’m doing, Regulus.” Sirius had replied coldly, but his hand wandered subconsciously to his back.

“I sure hope so,” He snorted. Sirius had brushed it off at the time, but Regulus’s words echoed in his mind just as often as his mother’s words did. Was he putting Remus in danger by being with him? The thought frightened him.

He’d finally recounted all his troubles and worries to James, whose face had darkened at Sirius’s confession. “Listen, mate, I can’t tell you not to be safe if you really do think that you or Moony would be in danger. But I also know that you’ll be miserable if you let your hag of a mother control you as much here as she does at home. It would be stupid to let her close-minded views always haunt you. If you really do want to do this with Remus, then I’d say you should. But whatever you do, just be careful.” He’d warned, giving Sirius a hug. 

So Sirius had made up his mind that he was done letting his mother’s invisible hand control him. He didn’t know how it had happened with Remus, but he knew he didn’t want it to stop happening. He knew that deep down he wanted Remus as much as Remus wanted him, and he just needed to take a leap of faith. 

It was the Vernal equinox, and Dumbledore had decided to give Hogwarts a ball due to the growing stress of the war, so they could all take a chance to relax. This was met with a mixture of complaints of all the formalities and excitement for the night. It had passed in a whirlwind of black dress robes and colorful gowns. The Great Hall had been transformed into a grand ballroom of lights and lace, shimmery decorations suspended in the air. Music fluted across the room, and it had been fun. 

But Sirius and Remus had been playing a different game, a game of glances and brushes of skin as they passed each other, deliberate eye contact as they danced and drank and ate. Remus knew and Sirius knew what was going to happen tonight, and the steady anticipation inside Sirius built, tugging at his core, making him blind to the rest of the world. He only exists here and now, in this contest of wills to see who would break first, who would make the first move. 

After long last, they ended up in the same little alcove on the edge of the Great Hall. Remus looked good, even in shabby dress robes that were too loose on his lanky frame. Sirius felt confident about how he looked. His long black hair was washed and oiled and styled, courtesy of Lily, he’d carefully applied a small amount of eyeliner that did wonders for him, and he’d reluctantly worn his hand-taylored dress robes from his parents. He knew he looked striking, today of all days. 

Remus was an enigma, quiet and glittering, both nervous and exuding confidence. Sirius sidled up to him, leaning in so he could whisper in the other boy’s ear. “What are you think about, Moony? Are you thinking that I look good dressed in black? Are you thinking I clean up nice? Are you thinking about how  _ hot _ I would look on top of you?”

Sirius gasped as Remus suddenly grabbed his hand. “Careful what you wish for.” He hissed back, his face so neutral, so controlled he could have been discussing the weather. “And don’t like to yourself. You’re not gonna be on top.” Sirius swallowed and Remus pressed briefly against him, the feeling both exquisite and lewd. They were still in a room with other people, even if they were mostly hidden in the alcove. “The sooner you accept that, the easier it will be.”

“Okay,” Sirius replied in a whisper, his voice hitching. 

“Good boy,” Remus smirked, and Sirius’s heart skipped  _ several _ beats, which couldn’t be healthy. “Now, I’m going to walk out of here and go to the Room of Requirement. You’re going to wait five minutes, maybe go get some water, and then follow me.” Remus said softly. “Say, okay, Sirius.”

“Okay.” Remus grinned and Sirius felt his desire triple. Maybe some water was a good idea. Sirius watched Remus exit the hall, his heart thundering. It was the longest five minutes of his life. He didn’t make conversation, just wandered mindlessly around the edge of the hall, avoiding all teachers and people who would probably interrupt him. Finally, it was time to go.

His knees were weak as he made his way to the Room of Requirement. He was ready for this, he was so  _ so  _ ready. His fears seemed a distant, far off thing, consumed by the feeling in his chest, and its twin, lower down. 

The Room of Requirement appeared as a well-made oak door, heavy and well-made. Sirius tentatively pulled it open and stepped inside. Since the room responded to the people using it, Sirius had no doubt that from the outside would appear locked or just a solid wall. They had complete privacy. The room appeared as a small bedroom, with simple furnishings, a queen-sized bed, and small hearth crackling with fire. Remus was waiting, a small smile on his face. “Hey,” He said quietly.

“Hey,” Replied Sirius, a soft smile forming on his lips.

“Are you sure you’re okay with doing this?” Asked Remus, true concern furrowing his brow. “You haven’t been ready yet, in the past.”

“Remus, believe me, I’m ready. I want to. I’ve just been worried about what my mother would do if she found out about us. What she would do to me… what she would do to you.” Sirius admitted, his mind filled with the sound of the crack of a belt. 

“It’s okay. If you’re too worried, I understand and we don’t have to. But if your ready, then so am I. I’m not going to let your mother stand in the way of us being happy, okay?”

“Okay.” 

“And remember, please, to say  _ stop _ , if you don’t want to go on. Even if we’re in the middle of something, we’ll stop. We can always try again later. It doesn’t have to be now.”

“I want it to be now,” Sirius said huskily and leaned in to kiss him. They’d been waiting all night for this, and the kiss didn’t disappoint. It was deep but forceful, two rivers becoming one in a torrent of crashing water. Remus let Sirius take the lead at first, letting the shorter boy relax into the rhythm of their bodies. After a few minutes, Sirius pulled away from the kiss. “Remus?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m ready for you to fuck me.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, but beneath the teasing, Remus saw the cues that Sirius really was ready, and so he took a step back, Sirius’s body jerking slightly as he released his hold on Remus’s shirt. 

“Take off your tie and give it to me,” Remus said quietly. Sirius undid the knot slowly, the friction of the rough fabric across the sensitive skin of his neck strangely erotic. He handed it to Remus, his body tingling. “Now the shirt.” Sirius was aware of every single nerve in his body as he unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall to the floor, never taking his eyes off Remus. This time it was a single breathy gasp. “Pants.” He undid them and let them drop to the floor, stepping out of them. 

Sirius stood in just his boxers before Remus, feeling vulnerable and bare in the firelight. But he also felt so desperately turned on, his hands clenching and unclenching helplessly at his sides. He wanted Remus to just push him onto the bed and take the plunge, so he could lose himself to the intense rhythm. But Remus continued at the torturously slow pace he had started at. 

“Come and get me out of my clothes.” At the order, Sirius bridged the distance between them, not daring to meet Remus’s eyes. He quickly undid the tie, placing that in Remus’s hand that held his own tie. He undid each button on his shirt quickly, pulling it off of him. Sirius had seen the scars across Remus’s upper body many times now, but it never failed to make his heart ache. He gave a quick kiss to the biggest one, stretched across Moony’s midriff. 

Then he dropped to his knees. First, he undid the belt, his hands trembling, and then it was time for the pants. Oh, how his hands shook at this, slowly undoing the zipper and teasingly rubbing over  _ that _ area, making Remus gasp slightly. The bulge there grew. He pulled them down to the floor. Now Remus stood as clothed as Sirius, which was to say not very clothed at all. 

Remus wrapped his hands into Sirius’s hair and gave the order that Sirius had been hotly anticipating. He slid off the boxers now too, and a course of desire ran so strongly through him he lost all patience and leaned forward and took the member into his mouth. He played with the tip using his tongue, Remus moaning loudly. He licked all the way up to the hilt and then slid the whole thing into his mouth. He began to work his way up and down, Remus panting. After a few moments, Remus took control and met each forward movement with a thrust that made Sirius choke slightly. It felt good, and his eyes watered from it. 

Remus pulled out before he lost too much control, roughly ordering Sirius to stand up. Sirius instantly obeyed, eager and erect. Remus kissed him harshly, one hand in Sirius’s hair, the other reaching down to grab Sirius’s dick and squeezed it firmly. Sirius gasped into Remus’s mouth and rutted against him. Remus tutted slightly and pushed Sirius back. “You don’t think I’d let it be that easy, did you? What the hell is the bed for, then?” He tsked. “Consider this your first check-in, Sirius. Things are about to get rougher, so tell me now if you want to stop.”

“No,” Sirius gasped as Remus ran a thumb over the tip. “I want to keep going.” 

“Good boy,” Remus said. “Up onto the bed now. On your back.” Sirius obeyed, his dick straining against the fabric of his boxers. Remus tugged them off and Sirius gasped, now wholly naked underneath Remus. “Give me your hands.” Remus took the ties and knotted them around Sirius’s slim wrists, and then tied that to the headboard of the bed, so Sirius was entirely trussed up. He tugged experimentally against the restraints, and they held solid. His dick swelled. “Is that good?” Asked Remus, a hint of concern in his features.

“Yeah,” Said Sirius, his voice raspy. “God Remus, please just do it.” 

“Do what?” Remus replied slyly, kissing Sirius slightly. “This?” He thrust his own member across Sirius’s and Sirius groaned. “This?” He palmed Sirius’s dick. “This?” Ran a finger up the hilt, playing with his balls. Sirius whimpered, bucking his hips. 

“Remus, please!” Remus slid a finger into Sirius and he gasped, pulling hard against the restraints, going wild with desireRemus added a second finger, thrusting gently but thoroughly. Sirius cried out as a third finger was added. “Remus, Remus, oh god.” He blabbered as the steady assault continued. 

“If you want me to do something, you’re going to have to be more respectful and more specific,” Remus smirked, watching Sirius’s face go red, watching his twist and arch and writhe under his fingers. One hand was almost entirely inside him, the other hand was wrapped around his cock. 

“Please! Fuck me! Sir…” Sirius said, his breaths coming in gasps.

“Much better,” Replied Remus, and grabbed Sirius’s hips, and flipped him over so he lay on his stomach. “Up on your knees, now.” Sirius hastened to obey, on his elbows and knees, wrists still bound. His arse was high in the air, pale and ready. Remus positioned himself and thrust in slowly. Sirius screamed in pain and pleasure, and Remus stopped to allow him to adjust, then started a good pace, Sirius moving to meet him. Remus moved one hand to hold Sirius’s cock, moving in time with his rhythm. Sirius felt his desire building like a volcano inside him and erupted, Remus following him a moment later. 

They lay on the bed, sweaty and soiled. Remus undid the ties quickly and kissed Sirius softly. “Are you okay?”

Sirius grinned up at him. “Never better.” 

Sirius couldn’t tell you exactly when it had begun, and neither could he tell you just how happy he was that it had. 


End file.
